A vent.
I am a planner. There are few things in this world that I take on without planning every detail. I even plan on cancelling Friday night plans and plan the pizza I will order and bottle of wine I will finish. So when it comes to my wedding (18 August 2018 if you were asking) I am of course the planning queen. (Drama queen, yes, but a queen no less!)
After about ten minutes’ worth of brainstorming (that’s all I need) I (we) settled on a chilled, laid back, fun, kinda-sorta theme. On Pinterest I believe you will also find this under boho-chic or country-folk weddings.
From the moment I started thinking about the wedding I knew I wanted something chilled. No planned first dances with smoke machines and purple lights, or throwing a bouquet with All the single ladies blasting in the background. I just wanted a party I would actually enjoy.
That should take the hassle out of wedding planning, right?
Wrong.
Wedding planning, even if it’s a chilled wedding is easily the most stressful project I have ever encountered. I mean you are planning the party that celebrates you promising to love a person forever, not to mention the monetary investment you are putting behind that promise. It’s a lot of pressure straight off the bat.
Then we aren’t even getting to the details!
Now imagine the day of your wedding. You see yourself waking up in white linen with coffee, breakfast and maybe a sneaky bottle of champagne before you get ready in silk gowns, onesies, glittery kimonos, or whatever is cute these days.
Who do you think books that accommodation? Or preorders that breakfast? Yes, by all means tell the bridesmaids to wake you up with the tray, but at the end of the day bills need to be paid and arrangements need to be made in advance. In this game there is no such thing of the “kind bed and breakfast owner” surprising you on the morning with anything. The moment you check out and get hitched, a new bride arrives who’s more than happy to pay for bells and whistles.
Okay. I want to make it clear that it’s not a case that I don’t enjoy wedding planning. I think I’ve made it clear in the first paragraph that I’m a serious planner, it’s part of my nature. It’s just that there are so many things left to plan! And this is supposed to be a chilled wedding. How do the serious brides do it?!
SORRY, I just really needed to vent. I AM enjoying this process but I just need this moment to say: THIS SHIT IS HARD.
I’ll check back after I booked a goddamn DJ. And the fairy lights and the cool mason jars we’ll use as flower vases. And the florist who’ll arrange the wild flowers and leaves in said mason jars. Then we’re not even talking dress yet. Or confetti, or, or, or …
Never mind I’ll make a bullet list. Maybe even lay it out in a daily calendar planner.
Food Fellowship and Wine 
I relate to this on every level right now!! How is your planning going?? I love your wedding vibe 💖🦋
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I’ve only been engaged for less than 2 weeks and I’m stressing! All i want to do is have a relaxed wedding so thinking 2020 because I can’t deal with all this stress!
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Those first two weeks are quite overwhelming. Done are the celebrations and now start the planning! Best of luck and congratulations 😄
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I completely get what you’re saying – wedding planning does tend to get a bit stressful! But one thing that actually relieved a lot of pressure for me, personally, was the fact that I was planning to everyone else’s expectations instead of my own. When I realized that, it was like a load of stress off my shoulders. It occurred to me that I didn’t need to please everyone else, because the only opinions that mattered were my husband’s and my own.
We ended up picking 3 things that we wanted to prioritize, and then skimped and compromised on the rest, which ended up relieving so much pressure on the day of the event.
For example, the morning of the ceremony, I just had all of my bridesmaids come over to my mom’s house, and we just got ready together wearing whatever was comfortable. The familiar location relieved my nerves, and we saved money by not renting a space or having food catered. It wasn’t the most photogenic sight, but I remember being happy, comfortable, and excited.
I absolutely hated receiving unsolicited advice when I was engaged, and vowed never to force my own stupid opinions on other engaged people, so of course, take this advice with a grain of salt. Feel free to disregard it completely 😉
Best wishes to you on your wedding day, I hope it’s absolutely perfect.
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Thanks so much for sharing your story! I am slowly realising I need to let go of all the silly things I can’t control and just enjoy the process (a bit easier said than done!) 😉
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